all dressed up and no place to go

 

Today was supposed to be the day. Transformative, all about me and pushing through discomfort day.

My day with In Her Image (www.inherimagephoto.com) photographers Heidi and Tara. These talented women believe in women. They see their work as a transformational tool they use to do good in the world. As a fellow do good in the world through my work person, I have been pretty excited about this day. And kind of intimidated and anxious.

I need some new images for my website. And I hate having my picture taken. I can tell you all the reasons why I’m not photogenic, and I have many years of data to prove it.

And I have friends who have had sessions with Heidi and Tara. And there is something about these talented women who take such a clear stand for women that resonates deeply with me. They’re in Petaluma, California, and travel often to meet women where they are. They call their sessions Goddess Sessions.

Now’s about when I become really really uncomfortable. Goddess? And me? In the same sentence? (Notice the two words are not in the same sentence. At least not yet). And for this woman who spent almost all of her life in the corporate world, the idea of a Goddess Session is kind of … well, damn uncomfortable.

And as uncomfortable as it feels, I am ready to be with this discomfort and see what opens up. So today was supposed to be the day. I even hired a make up artist to do my face. (Am I really telling you this … what will you think of me?)

Heidi and Tara work outdoors. Almost exclusively. My photo shoot was scheduled in Oakland, California, where I’m working with a client. I love the idea of outside and a city vibe. We chose Temecula Alley in Oakland. Looked like it would be perfect. Except it wasn’t. Because it rained. Hair, make up, 3 outfit changes, check. Sunny skies, or at least no rain … nope. Rain. Misty, drippy, rainy, gray, overcast. I met Heidi and Tara in our agreed upon spot. We had a coffee while scanning the sky for even a tiny bit of blue. It didn’t show up.

We rescheduled for July when I’m back in Oakland. I have to admit that I considered cancelling the whole thing. This is too uncomfortable.

Instead I went back to my little airbnb, took a few selfies (which I hated. see, I told you I’m not photogenic!), changed into my jeans and wandered into this coffee shop. I’ll do more walking around today (because of course the rain stopped, and I see a bunch of blue in the sky) and will notice what I notice about myself in the world with my make up done professionally while wearing my favorite jeans and sneakers.

And I’ll be back. And we’ll try again. It’s time to lean into this discomfort.

Where in your life is it time to lean in to some big area of discomfort? And what will you do if when you seriously leaning, and feel like you might tip over, you have no choice but to pull back – at least for a moment or a maybe a few months?

Joyfully, with professionally done smokey eyes,

Vicki